My vocab with my writing

Poetry Metacognition (Figurative Language) - Wednesday 4th Thursday  5th April 
Make a copy please immediately and put your name on it.  Melody

Your task was to redraft your original poem on part of camp using what you have learnt. You may choose to write about a different part of camp if you wish:
For you, what is the difference between a poem and a recount? Poems are short but have heaps of detail and captures 1 moment in time.But a recount is longer and is about ( a trip )
What have you learnt about figurative language since you first wrote your poem on March 22nd?How  you can describe something as something else like if a hospital is very gross and scary you could call it like a garden because gardens can be untamed and messy.

Criteria
Level 2
Level 3
Level 4
Vocabulary
Some specific word selections. 
A range of ambitious words used to add interest. Some use of figurative language eg simile and metaphor.
Words and phrases regularly upgraded and/or deleted to add variety. Selectivity happening. I will add this word here because it will …
Spelling -
Able to spell most high frequency words (Lists 1-4) correctly.
Able to spell most high frequency words (Lists 1-6) correctly.


Very few errors within high frequency words (Lists 1-7). Control over the spelling of most commonly misspelt words.



My reflection on what has changed in my writing so far.
Mrs Johnstons video and the rotation that we did. Recrafting Mr.S poem in our way.I liked it because you had to delete words and add better words to make it make more  sense. Mrs Johnstons workshop because we were by a tree so we could look at it to compare parts of the tree to our body parts ( My roots were my legs ) .
My peers reflection on what has changed so far  Her range of descriptive words are very well chosen. I can see so much improvement in her 2nd piece to her 1st.


My Two pieces of Poetic Writing
March 22nd 2018 The Burma trail.
As the night passed by a shivering breeze rummaged around in my hair.
Gripping the rope fearnley voices were messing with my mind
.It was as blank as a new world was begging.Haunted laughs echoed amongst the chilled air.
Loud screams moments were rare unexpected people had such a tickling fear.Moments were trapped masks starring deeply.My eyes were shocked.
April 4th 2018
 As the night passed by an ice cold breeze numbed my face.
The night was like a nightmare coming true. Around me faces were rocks.
Gripping the rope holding on for dear life.
Hearing voices every footstep.
Creatures were popping out.
It was so dark like a new world was begging.
Moments were rare like a flash of lighting.
The moon was playing hide and go seek while laughs raised up.
Masks linked throughout the woods.
I was like a fragile vase against a bull.
My heart was running away.
I was paralysed at the sight but out of the corner of my eye a light shone through the foggy air.
I could finally breathe.
Moments were stained in my head.
What I need to do next as a result of where my writing is now.: SometImes I think I overwrIte but I don't even notice I have so I am focusing on that.For next tIme.